Dating!!!

This week in class we mainly learned about dating and how we choose the person we marry. Over the years the definition of dating has changed. So, what is dating? Most kids these days say that they are dating, but in reality, they are just hanging out watching a movie. Back then a dating was when you would go out and do a planned activity.

As we discussed what dating actually is our teacher gave us the definition of a date. He said a date is planned, paired off, and paid for. With a planned date you have a set thing that you are going to do. Usually it consists of a fun activity or going to dinner. When a date is paid for usually the person who asked the other person on a date is the one to pay, but that is just my opinion. When a date is paired off, that is kind of self-explanatory. As we began to talk about dating we got on the subject of why do people not date anymore. One of the reasons we came up with was that some people date to marry, and that scares the people who have no intention of getting married soon. Other reason we discussed was hanging out doesn’t lead anyone on, not so much pressure because it is less formal, there is no commitment, you can leave when you want, and you don’t have to deal with rejection. One of the last reasons we talked about was that when you hang out you can be more yourself. There is not a lot of pressure to be your best self when you are hanging out versus going on a date.

After talking about dating we first talked about courtship. So, what is courtship? Courtship is a four-step process. The first step is dating, which as I said before is a planned activity. Then you move on to courtship. Courtship is kind of like a trial, you see a potential spouse in the person. This is a time when you are really only learning more and more about each other. The third step is engagement. We all know that engagement is a very important part in someone’s life. The last step is marriage. Often times people tend to just slide into marriage. They don’t take the time to be in each step. They just combine all the steps into one big step.

We then started talking about how we choose the person we are going to marry. The first thing we talked about on that subject was Propinquity. Propinquity is when you have access to the person, or in other words you are in the same proximity. This includes living within a couple blocks of each other, sharing similar activities, people, and expectations. The next thing we talked about was physical attraction. When we are dating someone we all tend to look at how attracted we are to the person. We tend to filter what we like and don’t like. We also tend to pick people who are pretty similar to us, or the complete opposite. Another thing we tend to look at is their education. We think will they be successful in later in life and will they be able to provide for a family. Next, we look at their spirituality. Do they share the same religious beliefs as us? Will they be the one presiding in the family? Will they e able to care for your spiritual needs? These are all things we all have though of when we are looking for someone to marry. Often times we tend to look more for potential than perfection. That can be kind of dangerous to marry into because we think the person will change into what we want, but in reality, they don’t. That alone can ruin a marriage.