Theories

This week we learned about theories in family, and how they affect the family. The four theories we discussed were, the exchange theory, symbolic interaction theory, conflict theory, and systems theory. Each different theory has a significant affect in the family. In my opinion this can cause major problems in the family.

The first theory I want to talk about is the conflict theory. The Conflict Theory basically talks about how there is usually a lot if inequality in the world. That is very true; we see this in our day to day life. In class we discussed that in the conflict theory it also covers the influence we have on other people. We kind of related this part to flirting. Usually when someone in the relationship the girl shows it the most. The influence this has on guys. The guy gets excited and can sometimes go into a trance, or vice versa. The influence there in my opinion can do some strange things to people. We not only related it to flirting, we also related it to who has more power in the relationship. Generally, the person who has greater power has the greater influence in the family or relationship. As we discussed this some of my classmates brought up some ways this couple happen. One of those ways was, which person made the most income. This can affect someone’s relationship because one might feel that they aren’t as important because they don’t make as much money as the other. Then we out it into the sense that if the girl in the relationship was making more money than they guy, the guy might feel a little down. In our society now generally, the leader of the family is usually the dad, and so when the wife makes more money than the father it creates a conflict between the two. I just thought that that was interesting because if you really take a minute and think about it, it is very true.

The next theory is the exchange theory. Now this theory we do almost every single day, but we don’t really realize that we are doing it. So, sum up what this theory means it’s basically known as the “you owe me one” theory. This is basically when you give more than you get. Sometimes we do things for people and come out with the mind set that we will get something in return. We all know that that is not the case. Now in a relationship this can be pretty damaging. For example, one person in the relationship could be giving it their all while the other person is only giving about half. This is not fair because the other person is giving everything they have and expect the other person in the relationship the same. The person giving it their all is in the mind set of since I am trying and giving it everything I’ve got you need to do the same because I’m doing it for you. Can you see how this can be pretty damaging in a relationship?

Another theory was the social interactions theory. This theory is basically how the things we do need to be clearly interpreted. We are shaped by are actions, that’s how people form an opinion of us. What we don’t think is how the things we do can be misinterpreted by others. One of the biggest ways I see this happen is usually between a guy and a girl. Say there is a guy who is pretty shy and not a lot of people talk to him. So this girl comes along and decides she wants to get to know him. She then starts talking to him and being nice to him. Well the guy thinks about it to seriously and thinks that the girl is crushing on him. So he confronts the girl about how he know she likes him, but the girl doesn’t feel that way. The guy totally misinterpreted that since she was being nice to him that meant that she liked him. We need to make sure our actions are being understood in the way we are wanting it to be looked at, so we don’t have to deal with really awkward situations.

The last theory is the systems theory. This theory was very interesting to talk about because I could instantly relate it back to my family.  We talked about how each family was made up of subsystems like: mom and dad, mom and baby, dad and baby, and mom, dad, baby. Each subsystem has their own type of a relationship. We learned that the strongest subsystem has to be between the dad and the mom or else the family will not be as strong as it should be.  We also talked about how there are “unspoken” rules in the family. Those rules are very powerful. We may not even know you have those rules until you break the “unspoken” rule. They can be as simple as when mom leaves the house, the house must be absolutely clean or else you get in trouble, or the oldest person in the house always gets the window seat right behind the driver. Comment down below on some of your family’s weird/ unspoken rules.